Stay With Me
by lil'hp fan124
Summary: After a late night of drinking in Chijou, Tsuzuki decides to visit Hisoka. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Yami no Matsuei. If I did then the anime would be longer than 13 episodes and Tsuzuki and Hisoka would have gotten together a long time ago.

A/N: I haven't written anything in a while, so I hope I'm not too rusty. (sweatdrops) I'm not sure if I like how Hisoka came out in this, I think he's possibly a bit ooc towards the end. Anyway please enjoy and remember to R&R!

Recommended listening: Put You Arms Around Me by Natasha Bedingfield (Not really in the beginning, but I think it goes along well with the last few scenes)

_'Italic'_ are the characters' thoughts or emphasis on a specific word

Ne- Hey

Baka- Idiot

Arigatou- Thank you

Ano- Um

Gomen- I'm sorry

Aa- Yeah

Daijoubu- It's all right

* * *

(Hisoka's POV)

I slowly opened my eyes and felt a breeze against my face. I sat up and wrapped my arms around me, shivering as I felt the cold seep through my shirt. I got out of bed and hurried to my bedroom window. The cold wind ceased as I slammed my window shut. I stared out the window, watching the steady fall of rain hit the glass.

_'Definitly the last time I'm leaving my window open.' _I thought, closing the blinds. I sighed and rubbed my arms. Some tea would probably warm me up again. I opened my bedroom door and padded downstairs.

I entered the kitchen, pausing to turn on the lights. I placed a kettle of water to boil and I took out a teacup from one of the cupboards. The doorbell rang as I set my cup on the table. I frowned and glanced at the clock hanging above the doorway. It read a quarter after twelve.

_'Three guesses who it is,' _I thought wryly, heading towards the front door. I opened the door to see Tsuzuki standing on my front steps, his hair and clothes both slightly damp from the rain.

"Ne Hisoka," Tsuzuki smiled.

"Come inside, you're getting soaked." I said, stepping aside to let him pass. Tsuzuki came inside and I closed the door behind him.

"Tsuzuki, what are you doing here?" I sighed, turning to face him. "You know I don't like it when you visit this late. We have work tomorrow, so you should go home and-"

"Soka, I missed you!" Tsuzuki said, suddenly glomping onto me.

"Tsuzuki!"

My back hit the door as I staggered into it. Tsuzuki was unbelievably heavy.

"Tsuzuki, you're heavy." I said, trying to push him away. "Get off of me." My knees gave out and I winced as they hit the hardwood floor. No doubt they would be bruised later.

"I missed you," Tsuzuki repeated and kissed my cheek. I frowned.

"We just had dinner a few hours ago." I pointed out. "It hasn't been that long."

"But I wanted to see you again," He whined.

I grimaced and turned my head away. Ugh. Tsuzuki's breath smelled of alcohol. Sake, to be exact. No wonder he was acting like this. Whenever Tsuzuki drank, he became three times more affectionate than he was on a normal basis.

"You were drinking again," I accused him.

"A little bit," Tsuzuki hiccuped. "Not a lot though, I promise."

That much I could believe. The fact that he was still speaking coherently and had managed to get to my house from Chijou, without collapsing was a good sign. It meant that he was only tipsy and not completely drunk.

"Soka, you're warm." Tsuzuki nuzzled my neck. I cringed as I felt the cold water from his hair slide down my neck and underneath my shirt.

"You're getting me wet, Tsuzuki." I said, annoyed.

Tsuzuki pulled away and flashed me an apologetic smile. He grasped my hand and got up, pulling me up as well.

"You need to dry off," I said, pulling my hand away. I went to the closet and got some towels and a blanket. I came back to find Tsuzuki where I had left him, swaying slightly.

I rolled my eyes. Great. The last thing I needed was for Tsuzuki to collapse on the floor. I could only imagine how much trouble it would be to carry him to the living room.

"Come on," I said, grabbing his hand. I lead Tsuzuki to the living room, pausing to turn the lights on. We sat down on the couch and I handed Tsuzuki a towel. I watched as he began to dry himself off.

"Ne," I said suddenly. "Are you okay?" Tsuzuki paused and looked at me." I mean, you had a lot to drink tonight so. . ." I trailed off.

"Aww, you're worried about me, aren't you?" Tsuzuki leaned down and nuzzled my cheek. I blushed.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I muttered. I took the towel Tsuzuki had been holding and began drying his hair. "You're going to get yourself sick if you walk in the rain like that." I said after a minute. Tsuzuki didn't say anything and continued to watch me. I paused as I heard the whistle of the kettle from the next room.

"Finish drying yourself off," I handed him back the towel. As I got up, I felt Tsuzuki grab my wrist and tug me back. I yelped as Tsuzuki suddenly pulled me into his lap.

"Tsuzuki, what are you doing?"

"Soka, you're not leaving are you?" Tsuzuki asked, a hint of sadness in his voice. He slipped his arms around me.

I squirmed in his arms. "Let go of me." The shrill whistle coming from the kitchen was starting to get on my nerves.

"But Hisoka," He whined, pulling me closer, my back pressing against his chest. "I'll get lonely if you go."

Tsuzuki leaned down and kissed my neck. I softly gasped as I felt his lips brush against a particularly sensitive spot.

I flushed and turned my head away. "B-baka, I'm not going anywhere." I stammered. "I'm just getting us something to drink."

Tsuzuki hugged me tightly. "Okay, hurry back then." He said, loosening his arms around me.

I slipped off his lap and padded into the kitchen. The whistling stopped as I turned the stove off. I took out another cup for Tsuzuki and quickly finished making the tea. I filled both cups, making sure Tsuzuki's cup had plenty of sugar, before heading back to the living room.

"Here," I sat down and handed Tsuzuki his cup. " I think you should have something other than sake in your stomach."

"Arigatou," Tsuzuki said, taking his cup. He sipped his tea and smiled. "This is really good, Hisoka!"

I blushed and didn't reply. I blew my tea and took a small sip. We drank our tea in silence.

"Ano," I hesitated. ". . .You know, you could stay here if you're still not feeling well." I slowly traced the rim of my cup, silence meeting my ears as Tsuzuki didn't respond.

"Tsuzuki?" I glanced at him.

Tsuzuki had placed his cup on the coffee table and had curled up on the couch. His soft breathing indicated he was sleeping.

_'He's asleep?' _I thought, placing my cup on the table. I leaned over and lightly shook his shoulder. "Tsuzuki." I shook his shoulder again. "Tsuzuki, wake up. You can't fall asleep down here."

Tsuzuki reached out and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Tsuzuki."

His arm tightened around me. "Stay here and take a nap with me, Soka." Tsuzuki said sleepily.

I sighed. "Tsuzuki, I told you it's too cold for us to sleep down here." I tried to get up, but Tsuzuki's arm prevented me from moving.

Tsuzuki grabbed the blanket lying on the couch and covered us both with it.

"Now it's not," He muttered. Tsuzuki kissed the top of my head. "So just go to sleep, okay?"

I slowly nodded, finally giving in. I snuggled closer to Tsuzuki, who was surprisingly warm. I closed my eyes and dozed off, listening to the sound of Tsuzuki's soft breathing.

-o-

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt something moving next to me. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness of the room. I turned my head to see Tsuzuki stand up, stretching.

". . .Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki glanced at me. "Gomen," He said gently. "Did I wake you?"

I shook my head and sat up. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Tsuzuki smiled. "I think that nap really helped."

Tsuzuki was right, he looked a lot better than he had a few hours ago. He wasn't as tired as he had been earlier, nor did he look as though he was about to collapse.

"That's good," I stared at the blanket. ". . .You should be more careful." I said quietly. "I know you can take care of yourself but I just. . ." I trailed off, uncertain of how to continue.

I bit my lip and looked at my hands, which were tightly clutching the blanket. How could I explain it to him? How anxious I had been when he had showed up at my house, thinking that something was wrong. The small sense of relief I had felt when I realized that he wasn't hurt, just drunk. It was stupid of me to worry so much. Tsuzuki was an adult and he had the power of 12 shikigami at his side. I knew he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Yet I couldn't help but worry about him. And I couldn't help the fact that I was _afraid_. Afraid that something was going to happen to him. Afraid that I was going to lose him. And if I did lose him, I was completely terrified of being alone. Because I had grown so attached to him and I was so used to having him around, that I wasn't sure if I could go back to being alone again.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He was trying to understand what I was saying. But I knew he couldn't because I wasn't making myself clear.

"I-I just worry about you, okay?" I said finally. ". . .So just stop being so stupid!" My hands slowly unclenched the blanket. My knuckles had turned white from clutching the blanket so hard and I watched as my skin faded back to its normal color.

"You should know better anyway," I said abruptly, turning my head to stare out the window. "It's your fault if you come into work hungover. And I'm _not _defending you if-" I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I found myself pressed up against Tsuzuki as he hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry," Tsuzuki said softly. "I'm sorry for making you worry so much." He kissed the top of my head. "I'll try not to do it anymore, okay?" Tsuzuki reached up and began to rub my back in an attempt to calm me.

I rested my head on his chest. "Aa," I said, relaxing under his touch. Tsuzuki continued to rub my back and I felt myself become drowsy. I was going to fall asleep again if he kept this up.

"Ne, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said, lowering his hand. "Can I ask you something?"

I sat up and looked at him. "What?" I watched as his eyes flickered over my frame for a second. He smiled and leaned down.

"Do you always wear my work shirt to bed?" Tsuzuki whispered, his warm breath tickling my ear.

I blushed and quickly turned my head away. Tsuzuki had slept over a few weeks ago and had forgotten his shirt here. Although I had been meaning to give it back to him, I had never really gotten around to it.

"Not that I mind or anything," Tsuzuki said, pulling away. "I think it's cute."

I turned my head and glanced back at him.

"So how many more of my shirts have you stolen?" Tsuzuki teased, kissing my forehead.

"Just this one. And I didn't steal it." I corrected him. "_You_ forgot it."

"Are you sure? If I went and raided your room, I wouldn't find anything else then?" Tsuzuki asked.

I softly laughed. "Yes, I'm sure."

"I've been looking for that shirt you know," He said, tracing one of the buttons. "Do you think I could have it back?"

I kissed his cheek. "Nope."

"Really?" Tsuzuki asked, pressing his forehead against mine. He leaned down and kissed me, his lips lightly brushing against mine. "Why not?"

"Because I really like it," I said, pulling away. "So I don't think you'll be getting it back anytime soon."

"That's okay. I don't mind."

I blinked. "You don't?"

Tsuzuki shook his head. "Not really." His fingertips brushed my throat as he ran his fingers along the shirt's collar. "Besides," He said, leaning down. "I think it looks better on you anyway."

My heart fluttered as Tsuzuki tilted my head up and kissed me. I slipped my arms around his neck as I kissed back. Tsuzuki coaxed my mouth open as he deepened the kiss. I felt my back hit the cushions as Tsuzuki gently pushed me onto the couch. I gasped as Tsuzuki kissed my neck, his teeth grazing my skin.

"T-Tsuzuki," I tilted my head back, giving him more access. I felt Tsuzuki unbutton my shirt as he continued to kiss my neck.

"Ah!" I gasped as Tsuzuki slipped his hand under my shirt. I arched into his touch, my heart pounding as he ran his hand along my chest. "Tsuzuki. . ."

My breath quickened as Tsuzuki began to trail kisses down my chest. I tangled my hands in Tsuzuki's hair, fingers clutching his brown locks.

I couldn't think straight anymore. There were too many thoughts and emotions swirling around. Combining so much that I couldn't tell where Tsuzuki's ended and mine began. I felt Tsuzuki's hand slide up my thigh, his fingers slipping underneath my boxers.

I inhaled sharply as red suddenly flashed before my eyes. Reality seemed to slip away as memories of that night filled my mind. A blood red moon. Cherry blossom petals floating through the sky. The flutter of a white coat as it blew in the breeze. The sight of silver hair and eyes. The feel of the night air on my skin as my clothes were torn off.

_'No no. Stop it. No please stop'_

A pair of lips bruising my own. Cold hands touching everywhere. Pain. So much pain. The silver glint of a knife. A burning sensation and an indescribable pain. The sight and smell of warm blood.

_'Stop it please no no please just stop. No no' _

"No!"

There was a loud thud followed by a crash as something shattered. My eyes slid back into focus and I sat up, my entire body trembling. My eyes widened as I looked towards the sound of the crash.

"Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki was lying on the ground, surrounded by the shattered remains of the teacups and pieces of glass from the table. He groaned and sat up, raising a hand to his head. Tsuzuki winced and pulled his hand away, his fingertips covered in blood.

I got up and hurried to his side, ignoring the pain as bits of glass and porcelain cut my feet.

"Tsuzuki, I'm sorry," I said. "I-I didn't mean to hurt you."

I was such an idiot. Hurting Tsuzuki was the last thing I had wanted to do. Couldn't I do anything right?

"Daijoubu," Tsuzuki assured me. "It's already starting to heal. See?" He turned his head and showed me his cut on his head had stopped bleeding and had completely healed itself.

Tsuzuki looked around and rubbed his head sheepishly. "Sorry for the mess. I'll help you clean up." He pointed at my knees, which were covered in cuts from kneeling on the ground. "So you don't hurt yourself anymore."

Tsuzuki and I picked up some of the larger pieces of glass and porcelain and threw them away. I grabbed a broom from the closet and swept up the remaining shards. I glanced at Tsuzuki as he threw away the last few pieces of porcelain. I felt a pang of guilt as I caught sight of the dried blood in his hair.

"I'm really sorry, Tsuzuki," I said as I sat down. "About your cut, I mean."

"Hisoka, I told you it's okay," Tsuzuki said, sitting next to me. "I'm fine now, so you don't have to worry anymore."

I shook my head. "No, it's not okay." I stared at the cracks that ran along the rest of the table. "I lost control of my powers and I. . .I ended up hurting you."

"Hey," Tsuzuki said gently. He touched my cheek and forced me to look at him. "You have no reason to apologize. It was an accident."

"But-"

"Listen to me," Tsuzuki insisted, bringing his face closer to mine. "I know you didn't do that on purpose." He leaned in and softly kissed me. "So stop being so hard on yourself."

I slowly nodded. Tsuzuki lowered his hand and pulled away.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you." He said. "I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I'm sorry if I scared you." Tsuzuki paused for a second before continuing. "You know I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for."

I could feel Tsuzuki's guilt and concern coming off in waves. It was a bit ironic that both of us were feeling guilty for the same were scared that we had hurt each other.

"It's not your fault," I muttered, lowering my gaze. "I thought I was ready to-" I blushed, unable to go on. "I-I think I need more time to. . .to help me forget."

I bit my lip as an awkward silence filled the room. What was Tsuzuki thinking about? I couldn't tell, his shields were really strong right now. Had I said something wrong and not realized it?

". . .I think it stopped raining." Tsuzuki said, breaking the silence. I glanced out the window and saw that the heavy rain had been reduced to a faint drizzle.

"I should probably go," Tsuzuki said, standing up.

"You're leaving?" I asked uncertainly. _'Why?'_

Tsuzuki shifted uncomfortably. "Aa." He said. "Sorry for causing you so much trouble. I didn't mean to be a burden." Tsuzuki hesitated for a second, before he leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He straightened up and turned to leave.

_'I don't want you to go.'_

I was still a bit shaken from the flashback I had had earlier. I knew I was going to be plagued by nightmares if I went to sleep. But the thought sleeping alone made me uneasy. I wanted to sleep in Tsuzuki's arms, to feel the safety and warmth they always provided. I wanted to feel the comfort and assurance he always gave me. The feeling that he was always going to be there and that nothing was going to hurt me.

"Tsuzuki, wait," I said suddenly, standing up. I quickly grabbed his wrist. _'Don't go.'_

Tsuzuki turned and gave me a curious look. "What's wrong?"

"Ano," I hesitated. "I. . ." _'Please don't leave me.'_

"I-I just," I faltered under his gaze and turned my head away.

Why was this so hard to say? Why couldn't I just tell him how much I wanted, no, needed him to stay with me?

"Tsuzuki, I. . ." I trailed off, feeling helpless.

"Soka, it's okay," Tsuzuki said. He reached out and touched my cheek. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Besides the fact that I hated myself for acting like a stuttering idiot? And that I was afraid of telling him how I really felt? That I was afraid of what I was feeling, this sense of need. This need to have Tsuzuki by my side, not just now but all the time. When in the past I had never needed anyone because I had always been alone.

"Ano. . ." I bit my lip. "I. . .I don't want you to go," I softly admitted. "So just-just stay here with me." I tightened my grasp on his wrist.". . .Please?"

Tsuzuki stared at me. "You really want me to stay?"

I nodded. "Yes, please. I-I really do."

Tsuzuki gently pried my hand off his wrist. He frowned. "Hisoka, you're shaking."

Tsuzuki held up my wrist and I saw that was my hand was trembling. Had I been shaking the entire time and not even realized it? I wasn't even sure why I was shaking in the first place.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I don't-"

Tsuzuki suddenly pulled me against him. "It's all right," He said quietly, slipping his arms around me. "I'll stay right here."

I looked up at him. "Really? Y-you're not going to leave?" I felt his arms tightened around me.

"Believe me, I'm not going anywhere." Tsuzuki assured me.

My shaking subsided as Tsuzuki's warmth and affection washed over me. I immediately felt myself relax in his arms. I rested my head against his chest, feeling a sense of contentment.

"And if I was leaving," He tilted my head up towards him. "Then I'd make sure that you were with me." My skipped a beat as Tsuzuki leaned down and gently kissed me. "Because I wouldn't go anywhere unless you were by my side." He said softly, pulling away.

-Owari

* * *

A/N: It's nice to write fluff after taking a break. Please remember that reviews are greatly appreciated. Arigatou gozaimasu!


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